2/18/10

A lot of people in my life don't know that I'm Catholic. I was born and raised Catholic, went to school every Sunday, and went to a Catholic school from Preschool to 8th grade. I'm kind of ashamed that this has happened, but I've stopped going to church, I don't let people know my beliefs, and I've become a poor excuse for a Catholic.

The Reason I brought this up is because Wednesday was Ash Wednesday in the Catholic church. That the beginning of a time we call Lent. It's a time for repentance and reflection. Growing up, we all had to give up something like pop or candy for the 40 days of Lent. I never found any real purpose in that, so I decided to do something that might help me reflect a little more. I'm gonna try to blog every day for Lent. If it sticks, I might just keep writing everyday.

So to begin the first blog, I wanna talk about my day today. I went to bed at midnight last night after only getting 4 hours of sleep the previous night. I didn't take any naps the previous day, so I was thinking that I was gonna have a good nights sleep. Wrong. I fell asleep at midnight, and woke up 2 hours later. I rolled over and tried to go back to sleep, but it wasn't working. I could feal myself trying to force my body to go back to sleep, and my body wasn't happy with that at all. It was ready to wake up, even tho I wasn't.

Class at 9:30 was skipped because I fell back asleep at 8AM. I had an adviser meeting at 2:30. I woke up for a couple minutes to get online and cancel that. I guess I'll just go to walk-in hours on Friday. Class at 4 was skipped, because I was still sleeping. I finally woke up around 5:45 and decided to quit being lazy for the rest of the day.

I went downstairs, played some Call of Duty. After an hour or so of that, I went to the kitchen to try to make some chicken and dumplings. I had gotten all the ingredients for it last week, but didn't know how to make it like my mom does. I gave her a call, but she didnt pick up. I decided to just some ravioli in a can. 30 minutes after I finish eating this disgusting, non-filling ravioli, I get a call from my mom asking me if there was a problem because I usually don't call her unless I need something important or there's an emergency. After assuring her I was fine and telling her that I just needed to know how to cook something, she explained everything, and then went back to work. I was kind of hungry, but this recipe makes a lot of food, so I decided not to make it, for now at least.

I sat down and watched some TV for a while. I'm still in my pajamas, sitting around the house doing nothing productive, so I decided to make the chicken and dumplings. It only took about 15 minutes, and there was a ton of if! I called my roommate up, and shared some with him, and finished watching some TV shows.

There's a party at the house tonight, but I couldn't decide if i should go or not. I don't drink, so usually I just help out with the music, security, or dance. After sitting around some more, playing some games on my computer, and being a lazy bum, I decided to just stay in for the night.

I've been downloading movies recently. I just got some really good ones like Avatar, The Book of Eli, The Time Travelers Wife, some more Disney movies, and Marley and Me. I watch a couple every night since I usually don't sleep. Tonight I watched Cars for the second time. I fell asleep about 30 minutes into it, and slept for about an hour. I woke up towards the end, a really good part of the movie if you know whats gone on in the beginning. After trying to fall back asleep, I gave up and just started watching the rest of that.

So now that I was up and not gonna fall back asleep soon, I started watching the rest of Marley and Me which I had started in the morning when I wasn't sleeping and paused so that I wouldn't miss any of it. I had seen in before, about a year ago when I was with my girlfriend. If your haven't seen or heard what happens at the end, don't read on because I'm about to spoil it. The dog that the guy got right after he got married, grows up, becomes a major part of the family, and after probably 12 years, the dog dies. It's a yellow lab, just like I had. It got old and sick, just like my dog. It looked and acted JUST like my dog did. My dogs name was Bella, and about 5 years ago, my dad had to take her in and have her put down. The same thing happens in the movie, so both of the times that I've watched the movie, I start hysterically crying when he takes the dog in and has it put down.

I loved my dog, Bella. She was rescued from the humane society in Indy by my step-mom's friend. They had two dogs, and we had to dog sit for them a couple times. Chloe was everybody's favorite dog. Chloe behaved a little better, looked a little cuter, and was just a better dog. I realized this, and I would always pay more attention to Bella. I would take her on walk, and play with her. The owner got sick of Bella, so my step-mom adopted her and brought her home one day. Bella became part of the family. She learned to trust us, and she really loved us. We would let her outside to play and go to the restroom, and we would hear a bark at the front door an hour or 2 later when she came home and decided she wanted back in.

I only stayed with my dad and step-mom on the weekends, so that was the only time I would see Bella. I never had a bed at my dad's house, so I would sleep on the couch. Bella had her own padded cushion on the floor, but when I came to stay, her bed was on the couch, right next to me. Over the years, I bonded with this dog so much. During the summer about 5 years ago, she got very sick. She had trouble walking, getting up from her bed, and just looked miserable all the time. I barely saw her, but when I did, she somehow got enough strength to get up, and run to me. That dog was something special. I thought she was gonna be strong and live forever, but there came the time, when she couldnt even walk to get her food or water. My dad had to pick her up and carry her to the car to take her to the vet. She didn't come back with him.

At school and at church, I was always told that animals didn't have souls and would not be going to heaven like we do when we die. I'd have to disagree with the church on that one. Bella had a soul. After knowing this animal, and seeing that it can love and be loved, I know for a fact that God wouldn't keep Bella from being in a better place.

Goodnight blogger,
Jimmy Carnes
3:20AM 2/19/10